“G.O.Y.” by Nicole Anyadike of Abuja, Nigeria

12 Sep

God gave her the test. Not the test she takes in school, ignoring the rules, playing the teacher as a fool, sharing answers among the class while the nerds while they’re getting their last laugh. The test where God becomes the person she kneels down to and cries after she’s disrespected, ignored, skipped church for pre-marital sex and still goes around saying she’s blessed while her sinful soul is being caressed.

The test to prove her character of showing unconditional love for those that make the decision to implant a silent incision in her heart which progresses into a silent cry with salty tears evaporating from the surface of her skin which is her internal twin because they’re both hurting inside.

Who is she to get mad for wasting 17,531.6 hours of pure stress on…? Hurting inside because she’s a lost soul named “Question” who refuses to surrender and repaying each and everyone in evil currency while she’s battling malicious spirits of hatred, sorrow and loneliness rather it’s intentional or unintentional. Psychological abuse from her past, things that she aimed to do in a YOLO mentality which is now an unwanted pile of shit that flies feast on and becomes this annoying bill collector that her nor her family can save her from because the cost is too much, the currency is confusing because converting hatred, sorrow and loneliness VS living a happy life just seems to be insufficient and inconvenient at this point.

The sun is shinning but her problems become the shadow that hinders her. So she calls out for God waling those lungs which grasps the throat, turning her into the wheel of unfortune because a lifetime supply of air is only limited when you don’t have love.

After being inspired from a still black and white picture on Youtube listening to a song from two gifted hearts telling her to take off her cool…Wise words from Simba Castano told her: “To release yourself is to let loose of the man that stalks your spirit. For the man cloaks himself in your shadow. The man, extending to a blurb of breathing midst is your shadow. But then! release this man through your eyes, through those palms”

And then she’ll let the sounds of the almighty knocked reverberation into her. Progressively swifting her hands to greet and fold, praying for the soul recreation which will speak from testimony and wisdom along with the old tears that will attract magnets around the world.

Laugher, happiness and intelligence will slide out of her mouth like waterfalls which will arouse the 193 nations in the world for all of them to utter GOY out of their mouths.

Ever felt yourself crying tears of sadness because you still feel the bruises from your past? Then crying tears of joy because there is a second chance, and then crying tears of hope and faith for a better future.

With her hands lifted in the air feeling liberated with freedom and giving thanks to the Lord that me! Nicole Anyadike did not have to run and hide my face underground to worship the greatest man in heaven!

AND if the enemy says I don’t know nothin’ I know God is love and man can’t love none without God!  And I am no longer going to keep the burden of my mistake because it’s behind me and what I see following the order of operation for love. GOY! (God, other’s, yourself)

PEACE OUT!

~

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Ayvaunn Penn is an award-winning writer pursuing her graduate degrees in dramatic writing and acting. She is also a freelance editorpoet, and spoken word artist. To publicize your poetry events on YBP for free, click here. To like Your Black Poets on Facebook, click here. To become Ayvaunn’s Facebook friend, click here.

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