“Pray, Believe, And Be Healed”: For the Cancer Fighters

16 Aug

Pray

Believe

And you’ll be healed

That’s what the Believers keep telling me

Well let me tell ya

I been prayin’

And believin’

And over this month and a half

I

have not

been

healed

 

I can hear it now

“She don’t really believe.

She woulda’ been cured by now.”

I can hear it now

“What have you done that the Lord won’t make you whole?”

I can hear it now

“And she calls herself a Christian. Where’s her Lord?

What kind of fool follows a fickle God?”

I can hear it now

…myself asking

“God, why?”

 

I ain’t gon’ lie

Many tears have I cried

On the note of not lying…

I still cry

Since the first day this illness hit

I’ve poured over the healing scripts

Reading in the book of Matthew

How my good Lord healed

Leopresy

Palsy

And praying and proclaiming with all of my being

I just knew He would heal me

And on this 14th day of the 10th month of 2011

My flesh is still afflicted

This is my human reality

 

So this human being began to question God

And this human asked:

Why me?

The girl with faith brimming

The girl who looks to You everything

The girl who acknowledges that without You she is nothing

Why me?

The girl who inquired of You her purpose so diligently

The girl who lends her ear to You so earnestly

The girl who finally came to be at peace with that discovery

The girl who You called to write “Why me?”

 

God, I have prayed

God, I have believed

God, I am waiting

Do you hear me?

Does my faith mean nothing to you?

Why have you not healed me?

My flesh whispers that you mock me

Why are you taking so long?

 

Into my spirit did my Jesus whisper this song

A sweet melody of reminders of His love

A kind chastisement of my doubt to draw me back into His arms

Reeling me in before my mind was too far gone

These thoughts the Lord brought to me:

 

God will heal me

I’m on God’s time

Not my own

Besides

All things are for His glory

Not my own

God would not be God if I could command Him to do as I say

When I say

I may call upon God and trust in God to keep the promises He made

But I should not be dismayed or think He has failed me

Just because He does not do what I want

When I want

This is a trying of my faith to make me stronger

 

Then all was still

And to me did God draw near

It was as though a hand drew back my hair

And a strong voice whispered tenderly in my ear:

 

Doubt no longer

My Word declares that it is already done

Your prayers and belief are not for none

Doubt ye no longer

Your time does mine exceed

Patience, Merrily

You are healed

When your time meets mine

Not only will you see, but

Feel 

© 2012 Ayvaunn Penn

Ayvaunn Penn is an award winning writer pursuing her graduate degrees in dramatic writing and acting. She is also a freelance editor,poet, and spoken word artist. To like The Penn Speaks on Facebook, click here. To become Ayvaunn’s Facebook friend, click here.

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